Surgery at 45

It's a cozy rainy evening and I just cuddled with the two most delicious kids ever!  So while I am basking in their warmth and love, I thought I would update you all on my lovely cancer plan.  To begin with, there is something I have learned this last week.  You can talk to many people, get many different opinions and hear about different experiences.  Ultimately, you have to trust your own instincts and have faith in your own ability to handle challenges.  So I woke up still resolved to get my date set as quickly as possible.  I spent Monday morning thinking about the best time to call the scheduler and dialed once only to hang up on the machine.  I didn't want to have to wait for the call back.  But then it all came together quite easily, to my surprise.  I called about 10 minutes before her day was up and she was as pleasant as can be.  She quickly went to the calendar and put a couple dates out there for me.  While she appreciated my desire to get the surgery done before I turned 45, there just weren't any available surgeries before the end of the year.  So I guess I am going to have to risk it and just think young.  What can you do?  She gave me two choices in January and I grabbed the earliest.  I will be 45 and 8 days.  Do you think it will make a difference?  January 6 is the magic day.  And while I was pretty anxious to get this overwith, I have decided it is for the best. I plan on enjoying the holidays and the break with my family, while feeling healthy and energetic.  I go in just a few days before they head back to school, so I don't even need to worry about their school schedule or homework.  I can go in relaxed, so to speak. 

My mom called and asked me how I was tonight and I said, "fine, and how are you?" And when she said, "I am fine as long as you are fine, " I immediately told her that I sure wasn't going to sit around and be crazy or nervous for the next 1 1/2 months.  And in fact, I am just not going to worry about this surgery.  From what everyone has said, it should be fine.  And I am going to trust that.  And be thankful that I am in the best hands I could be in.  I plan to continue to enjoy life and indulge myself on occasion.  And I will deal with what is to come after the surgery, well, after the surgery.  Basically, I am going to just do my thing and love this life - even with my unwanted nodule.  So happy holidays to all.  And my lesson today is - trust your own judgement and go with it!  Sleep comes easily that way.