"My Lovely Cancer" Blog: Just Checking In

"My Lovely Cancer" Blog: Just Checking In: "Hi everyone, Well, here it is - another rainy night. But instead of cuddling with two super cute kids, I have to get ready for my hubb..."

Just Checking In

Hi everyone,
Well, here it is - another rainy night.  But instead of cuddling with two super cute kids, I have to get ready for my hubbies holiday party.  It is at a Russian restaurant, so we know what that means - vodka will be the main item on the menu, because food is NOT their specialty.  Oh well.  I just wanted to check in and let you all know that all is well on my end. I have been keeping myself VERY busy, even picking up another part-time job.  The good news is that I can do it from home, on my own schedule, and I really enjoy the work.  So it is good for everyone.
I also wanted you all to know that fear not, I am not letting my little cancer nodule go to waste by just removing it.  I was just asked last week if I would be willing to play patient for a couple of young adults who are in their first year of med school.  Of course, I couldn't resist.  Why shouldn't people learn from this fun experience. (ha, ha)  So, I went over and met them.  They couldn't have been more gracious.  They asked me lots of questions - like when you go to the doctor for the first time.  And then they got to FEEL the cancer.  I think that was the highlight for them...obviously.  Their faces lit up with excitement.  It was very cute.  Now the teaching doc wants them to watch the surgery.  I am all for it as long as they stay FAR, FAR away from the table. :)  I believe in teaching, but I have done my part for that having had a c-section at Stanford by a fellow who was training a resident.  Uh, can you close me up more quickly please?  Okay, so, I don't want to go down that road again.  But watching is all good.
Well, that is about all of the excitement on this end.  Time to get dolled up for the party.  I hope today is the start of a wonderful vacation for you all.  What is my lesson for the day?  Hmmmm.  Contribute to the learnings of the young?  No, no, no.  Waste not, want not.  Okay - good enough.  Good night for now.

Surgery at 45

It's a cozy rainy evening and I just cuddled with the two most delicious kids ever!  So while I am basking in their warmth and love, I thought I would update you all on my lovely cancer plan.  To begin with, there is something I have learned this last week.  You can talk to many people, get many different opinions and hear about different experiences.  Ultimately, you have to trust your own instincts and have faith in your own ability to handle challenges.  So I woke up still resolved to get my date set as quickly as possible.  I spent Monday morning thinking about the best time to call the scheduler and dialed once only to hang up on the machine.  I didn't want to have to wait for the call back.  But then it all came together quite easily, to my surprise.  I called about 10 minutes before her day was up and she was as pleasant as can be.  She quickly went to the calendar and put a couple dates out there for me.  While she appreciated my desire to get the surgery done before I turned 45, there just weren't any available surgeries before the end of the year.  So I guess I am going to have to risk it and just think young.  What can you do?  She gave me two choices in January and I grabbed the earliest.  I will be 45 and 8 days.  Do you think it will make a difference?  January 6 is the magic day.  And while I was pretty anxious to get this overwith, I have decided it is for the best. I plan on enjoying the holidays and the break with my family, while feeling healthy and energetic.  I go in just a few days before they head back to school, so I don't even need to worry about their school schedule or homework.  I can go in relaxed, so to speak. 

My mom called and asked me how I was tonight and I said, "fine, and how are you?" And when she said, "I am fine as long as you are fine, " I immediately told her that I sure wasn't going to sit around and be crazy or nervous for the next 1 1/2 months.  And in fact, I am just not going to worry about this surgery.  From what everyone has said, it should be fine.  And I am going to trust that.  And be thankful that I am in the best hands I could be in.  I plan to continue to enjoy life and indulge myself on occasion.  And I will deal with what is to come after the surgery, well, after the surgery.  Basically, I am going to just do my thing and love this life - even with my unwanted nodule.  So happy holidays to all.  And my lesson today is - trust your own judgement and go with it!  Sleep comes easily that way. 

The Plan

First, I want to thank all my friends for your support.  It has been amazing, and I really appreciate it.  Second, I want to thank thyroid cancer for being so manageable.  I appreciate that even more.  Dave and I headed up to UCSF on Friday for "the meeting" with the guru of thyroid cancer.  We met first with one of the Fellows, who started the appointment by saying, "no one dies of thyroid cancer."  Those were great words to hear, even though I had been assured of that by many you.  To hear it from the guy with the white coat was a great relief both to me and Dave.  We then went on and discussed the process of dealing with it before meeting with Dr. Clark, the main man.  First things first, I need to get the nodule taken out.  Then I meet with the endocronologist.  The endocronologist is the one who decides on your iodine radiation treatment and you see him one month after surgery.  Dr. Clark then came in to meet me.  While I was already told that my nodule was considered relatively small, Dr. Clark spotted it from about 6 feet away.  Nice.  And for some reason, women under 45 fair better with the thyroid cancer and the surgery than women 45 and over.  Uhhhh, guess who turns 45 next month?  Geez!  I told Dr. Clark of my upcoming birthday and he assured me that I would get it taken out before my birthday, but not on my birthday, and most likely on a Thursday, but maybe on a Wednesday.  Then he said the scheduler will come in to set the date.  I was so happy.  I though, wow, I am going to have a date set by the time I leave here.  Wrong.  They sent in the nurse instead, who then informed us that the scheduler was way to busy because all of the docs were in the office.  Figures.  We are to wait until we get a letter in the mail with the date.  Well, as you know, I don't "wait" very well.  I will be calling the scheduler on Monday to see what I can secure sooner rather than later.  I only have about 45 days before I end up in the "fair not as well" group, for goodness sakes, and I will make sure she knows this one fact. 

The good news is that it sounds like the surgery will be quite straight forward.  They will remove the whole thyroid.  They will keep me overnight, to make sure there isn't any bleeding as a result of the surgery, and then they will send me on my way.  And many people resume normal activity within a day or two with just a sore throat to contend with.  I can handle that.  I will then have to take a supplement for the rest of my life and have my thyroid levels checked forever.  The hope is to have my levels be at zero always.  If the thyroid level goes up, than that means there is some more tissue somewhere growing, which is not a good thing. And this is all managed through blood tests.  So really, this all does not seem so daunting after all.  How lucky am I?  I had a friend tell me today that someone once told her, you never want to be special when it comes to medical issues.  How right is that?  I am happy to be just another thryoid cancer case and that is what I am banking on.  So I feel very positive and am sleeping well these days.  Now, if I could only get over the laryngitis I came down with this week, all would be good. 

Once again, I want to thank you all.  I appreciate the support and it is so helpful to know you are there for me.  I will keep you posted as to when I get to go in and get this baby taken out.  And my lesson for the day is - be persistant and you will get what you want.  Ultimately, persistance beats resistance!   Have a great night!! xoxo   

My Journey with the Big "C" - moving into action

First things first, I called my sister and my "like my" sister who are my confidantes and my friends.  And that is when the wheels started turning.  We hung up, each with our call to actions, as we say in marketing.  By midnight that first night (a mere 7 hours after "the call"), I had the names of the top thyroid cancer specialist in the country, his team, and an endocrinologist, whom I learned I will need later.  I had all my paperwork sent over to the office to then hear that they would call me back after the doctor reviewed my file.  Uhhh, you are asking me to WAIT?  While cancer was not in my plan, waiting was definitely not in my plan. 

On Wednesday, I reached out to my network once again and by Wednesday night I had confirmation that the doctor was going to see me and that I should hear from his office.  I must say that while I had been lobbying to get into this practice, as soon as I heard he would see me, I felt a wave of panic race through my body.  Now I was actually going to have to deal with it.  The process of trying to make it happen felt much easier and safer all of the sudden.  But nonetheless, I felt like I was in really good hands and that I could actually relax.  By noon yesterday, less than 3 days after "the call", I had an appointment with the guru of thyroid cancer.  Pretty darn good, if you have to have cancer.  Next week, on Friday, I will go in and hopefully find out what "the plan" will be. 

I have been feeling strong, optimistic, a little nervous, and, at times, a little fragile.  I am just wondering, if this is the best cancer ever and it is no big deal, than why did they have to put the word "cancer" there in the name?  That is the freakiest part - the name of the problem.  Oh well.  It is what it is.  I just have to relay the funniest story, at least to me.  My sister has been right there with me on the phone multiple times a day, so when I called to tell her that I had the appointment set, she was hit with such relief.  She went on and on about how much better she felt now that I had an appointment.  When I mentioned to her my feeling nervous now that I actually have to deal, she just continued on about how great it was.  When I stopped her one more time, she caught herself and said, "wait, is this about you or me, because I am confused!"  I burst out laughing and haven't stopped.  My lesson for today is, open yourself up to people and accept support.  You get so much in return, even more than you would ever imagine.  And a good laugh goes along way!  Have a great weekend!  I will.      

My Journey with the Big "C" - the beginning

Much to my surprise, I found out two and half days ago that I have thyroid cancer, and I found the need to write.  So here I am.  Just to give you a litte background on what I have been through this summer, I lost two amazing friends to cancer, so I guess I was on high alert about three weeks ago when I stumbled upon my lovely cancer.   And stumbled, or fumbled, rather, more apply describes how I found it.  I was washing my hair in the shower and somehow I literally poked myself in the throat.  I was thinking, "how the hell did I just poke myself in the throat?"  It was just the oddest movement in the world.  I was just washing my hair.  About a minute or two later another thought raced through my mind.  "Why did that poke feel the way it did?"  At that moment I started feeling around my throat and found my adam's apple.  But I am a female, so I was pretty sure I am not supposed to have one.  But not having felt my throat extensively before, I was not sure what the heck was going on.  I did realize that there was a tenderness there that I was sure wasn't normal, and I felt sure that my odd fumbling movement was a sign from my body to take note and check it out.  Freaking out inside, I called my doctor and luckily she was available a couple of hours later. Sure enough, she felt a cyst or mass of some sort.   She sent me to get some blood work and gave me the info. to set up an ultrasound and biopsy.  But of course, I was running out of town two days later, so was only able to squeeze in the blood test looking for anti-thyroid somethings.  3 days later I got my results back, which were normal.  So rest easy is what I did.  I spent a week down in LA with the kids, playing and working, and didn't really give much thought to my new "adam's apple".  When I came home, I did promptly call to set up my appointment for the ultrasound, but was very confident it was just a "cyst".  And again, I continued with my life and two weeks later went in for the ultrasound.  Sure enough, there was a cyst on my isthmus (sp?) which connects the thyroid.  I saw it and they did a biopsy, but again, I was pretty confident my destiny was not to die of cancer.  Then the call came Monday night.  Papillary Carcinoma.  The good news is that my destiny is still not to die of cancer.  According to the net and all of my sources, this is the best cancer ever to get.  Great.  I do feel lucky, but I would rather not have it all, if you know what I mean.  It is still cancer, and it is a little frightening.  I will have to continue my story later.  Got to get the kids off to school.  But my message for today is - listen to the signs your body gives you.  They really do mean something.  Bye for now!